Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
