Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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