how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
