i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
