There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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