i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
