I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
