And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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