To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
