yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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