In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
