We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
