moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize