So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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