At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
