I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
