return my video game
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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