garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
