you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize