Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
