we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Someone shattered a urinal.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
