I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
