It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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