i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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