Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just cropdusted the office
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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