i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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