when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's never too late to be topless.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
