I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am naked and annoyed.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
