I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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