Where is the hickey?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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