You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
