Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
