i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
