I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
