just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
