he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
