Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
ok first of all what the fuck
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize