Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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