I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
being pregnant is like rehab
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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