he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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