my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
