I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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