Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
