loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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