ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
