Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
