Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
