He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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