Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
