I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
