I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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