I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
