is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
