i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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