It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
cat food counts as protein by the way
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
