I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
