i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
