we're blogging at a bar
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
