dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
