Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize