Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
