i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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